Sunday, April 11, 2010

THANK YOU GOD FOR HAVING ME IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME...(some people's parents)...

So my son wanted to go and spend a couple of days with his Aunt and Uncle and Cousin. Ok. So we finnish up daycare and off we go to drop him off. I am approaching their subdivision and pull over into the left hand turn lane to turn into the subdivision. There is oncoming traffic so I am waiting. I happen to look out my passenger window at a very young boy get out of a white car I was kinda confused because 1. we are on 104th Ave which is VERY busy with traffic. 2. He is so little and is getting out on the drivers side back with traffic zooming by. And 3. Connor (my son said it looked like he was crying. 4. That side of 104th is just a field. I was still waiting on traffic to turn and thought SURELY this kid isn't going to cross 104th to come into this subdivision right?? He looked so small. So I decided to wait. I let a few openings to turn left pass. Just then the white car sped off... I sat there for like 10 seconds in disbelief. I was awakened from my disbelief when asking my son.... did that car just dump that kid? And Connor's response was mom he is crying. I quickly put on my blinker and crossed clear across 104th. I got out of my vehicle and noticed another woman approaching the child also. I reached her before we both reached the child. I learned as we were running for this little boy that she worked for Social Services. She had a badge around her neck. I said, "That car just dumped him and took off!" She then informed me that she didn't see the car but just noticed a boy crying all alone on the side of the road. She rubbed his back and I called 911. Before police arrived, the white car came back. The "dad" started yelling at the little boy, "DID YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON NOT TO THROW A FIT IN THE CAR?" I immediately and VERY loudly lashed out, "YOU CAN NOT DO THAT IN THE STATE OF COLORADO OR ANY OTHER STATE THAT I AM AWARE... THAT IS CHILD ABANDONMENT. I AM LICENSED AND REQUIRED TO REPORT ANY SUSPICION OF CHILD ABUSE OR NEGLECT." The woman who was there with me said, "YEAH I have to report this too." He then was putting this kid into the car and said, "Report what ever you want... I am leaving... You can't tell me how to parent." I said "You are not leaving." He said, " The hell I'm not!" He shut his sons door and went to open his and I stepped in front of his vehicle and all I did was took a picture of his license plate with my iPhone. I then said, "OK, you can leave now," and I stuck my phone in my back pocket and stepped up onto the sidewalk, crossed my arms and stood next to this woman. He said, "That picture isn't going to do shit for you... this isn't my car. I yelled back as he was starting his car,"I am sure who ever that vehicle does belong to knows who you are... I'm not worried." He sped off. A couple of minutes later he came back with a silver car following him. This woman in the silver car gets out and he is pointing to my vehicle. She walks up to my vehicle with him and he takes a picture of my vehicle and this woman writes down my license plate. This pisses me off... like what lie are you going to say or do that is now going to involve me? What ever I blew it off and acted like the better person. Just then an officer pulled up. He approached me first and I told him my story. I gave him the social workers business card, she left because her daughter had a school play but I promised to give the officer her card. Just then this woman approached the officer and said she was the grandmother of the children in the car. The officer said, "I need you to go back over to your vehicle and I will get your side in just a minute." She started to argue about how my side was 'untrue' when the officer raised his voice a bit, " I SAID TO GET OVER TO YOUR VEHICLE and I will be there in a minute." I explained that it was a good 7 to 10 minutes before he came back and that his vehicle had left my sight. He handed me a form told me to write a statement. He then took the business card of the Social worker and approached the other party. The dad was pointing to traffic and saying things I couldn't hear. I pretend to mind my own business but was so easily distracted by this mans bullshit. Just then a blue car pulls next to me and a man in a suit gets out. He walks up to my vehicle and the first officer walks back to my vehicle. The grandmother starts to walk to my vehicle and the officer says, "Mam, you need to stay at YOUR vehicle, I am not going to ask this of you again". She turns around CLEARLY annoyed. I think I may have chuckled on the inside at that point. The man shakes my hand and tells me he is a Detective. The officer goes over "the story" with the Detective. The end of the story was this kids dads part... the officer said he said he went up a half a block and turned around to teach the kid a lesson for acting up in the car. The Detective then said, "LETS say he did only go up a half a block to turn around, that half a block is up and over that hill, (as the Detective is pointing) which means CLEARLY he lost visual of his son on this corner, (and he points back to the corner where the boy had been standing when I saw him to begin with). I then said, it wasn't that short of time however. We, (the social worker and I) had time to park, get to the boy, discuss how we both saw him and I had time to tell her about the vehicle. We had time to discuss how she worked for Social Services and how we both had jobs that required us to report this. We had even comforted the child, exchanged information. The call was placed to 911 and the boy cried next to us the entire time. Then dad came back.... that is not turning around a half a block away. So the Detective said, looks like, Child abuse, Child Neglect, and Child abandonment to me.... I want to talk to the boy. I hear the Detective say to the little boy hey Buddy can I talk to you? Come here little guy! I love your spider man shirt... Do you like Spider man? The little boy INSTANTLY got a smile on his face and started to approach the officer. BUT NOT WITHOUT GRANDMA FOLLOWING. The Detective said, "MOM, I need to talk to your son for a second" She said, "I am not mom, I am grandma, and you are not talking to my grandson without me". The Detective then said, "I am going to talk to your Grandson and you are going to wait by your car. We will be right here." She said, "I am not comfortable with that" He then said, "MAM I AM NOT GOING TO ASK YOU AGAIN, IT WILL NOT END WELL FOR YOU IF I HAVE TO ASK YOU AGAIN." Just then the first officer said, "AND I HAVE ALREADY ASKED YOU TWICE." She was fuming but walked back to her car. The Detective and the little boy walked over to the field and were talking. He was smiling. I couldn't hear what was being said, but my heart broke for this little kid. I did over hear the officer confirm that he was five just as the boy had said he was. FIVE! I have a five year old. She is so small. I can't imagine parenting her like that. Leaving her on the side of 104th? To teach her how to act in a car. Ok lets give your child a fear of abandonment, and TEACH them that when you act bad I am going to leave you. I am going to dump you off in a field where there is TONS of traffic and you are going to watch me leave. I then finished filling out my statement and handed it to the officer in the the squad car. The Detective approached the squad car and the boy was walking back to his dads car. The officer handed me his card with the case number and said they were going to arrest him because he had a warrant for unpaid child support, had been driving without a license and was going to be charged with neglect, abandonment and misdemeanor child abuse. I took the card from him and thanked him. I was told that I was free to go and I got back into my car. As I was reaching for my seatbelt they were walking him to the police car. My heart broke for this child. This dad was GLARING at me. I just gave him one of those sad "Im disappointed in you looks" You know the look like, " I am sorry but it was the right thing to do and you should have known better.... SHAME ON YOU? " Yeah that look and I gave it good. Just before driving away the officer told my kids to be good and that they had a good mommy. I wish I would have asked the officer at that moment, (THIS IS MY ONLY REGRET) to ask the Grandmother to leave with the kid before putting the dad into the cop car. I just sat there for a second wondering what it would be like to watch police officers take your dad away? Would that damage you? Would that make you not 'like' officers? Would he always think that officers are 'bad' guys because they took his daddy? I then started my car and thought... this is most likely a dad whom has already had his feet in the water with police and he probably has already stained his sons thoughts on law enforcement. How sad. Maybe it is because my dad was a cop, that I just have the upmost and highest respect for them and their jobs. Or maybe it is because my dad being a police officer I knew even when I was really little that police officers were 'normal people' who went home to their families at the end of their day. But I remember thinking that my dad was some kind of super hero when I was a kid... he took care of all the bad guys. It made me feel safe. My kids are always told when an officer saves or helps someone or when a fireman carries someone from a burning building or helps people in accidents. I tell them because I want them to know that these are REAL LIFE HERO"S. People whom would not question saving you if they had to. And one child not having that view of a police officer or a fireman (or woman) :) breaks my heart. Damn this dad. I so bad when leaving wanted to say out my window to him, "AND SEE, I can tell you how to parent and it looks like I just did." But instead I thanked God for letting me see the little boy and for being in the right place at the right time... and Thanked God that my children again, got a glimpse of two things. 1. all is not right or perfect with the world (I think that is important for children to know), and 2. HOW BLESSED THEY ARE TO HAVE PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS AND FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT LOVE AND CARE FOR THEM AND THAT NO MATTER WHAT, GOOD OR BAD BEHAVIOR WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE THEM AND BE THERE FOR THEM AND NOT LEAVE THEM ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD TO TEACH THEM SOME DUMB LESSON BY USING FEAR AND HATE AS AN EXAMPLE.

4 comments:

  1. wow! what an interesting story! What an ahole! you never do that to your kids! He got what he deserves.. But now they have your licence plate number, If I were you I would put a restraining order on them for your and your families safety!

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  2. I can't tell you how sad it is for kids for have to watch their parent(s) being taken away. It causes a lifetime of heartache for those kids. I wish more people were like you and reported maltreatment again kids. It makes me disgusted what people allow kids to do and also what they do to children. Thank you for protecting that child and sticking to your guns. Thanks!!!

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  3. YOU are my Hero today! For taking the time to slow down, see that something was wrong and act on it. That act alone may have saved that child's life. What if it hadn't been you and a Social Worker there at that moment? What if it had been someone that would've harmed that boy? Thank GOD for people being willing to step out and do the right thing.

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  4. How scary for that poor little boy

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