Thursday, February 25, 2010

Directions, (given in one day).

Blessed we are, blessed I am. Add some music to my morning and add my cup of coffee and bring in eight smiling kiddos and I am doing good. I truly love my job! Of course it is stressful. Of course it is hard. But if it wasn't I don't think at the end of the day I would feel like I had accomplished much.

I am seeing things pick up. My husbands work, our finances, my mood :) All of my happiness and positive emotions were held for my daycare day. It took all of my "positive" to do my job well. I had to be "up" for kids, (and let me just say it takes a lot of "up" to do daycare). So at the end of the day I found myself tired, sad, depressed about our current situation and sadly on the weekends finding myself doing NOTHING. Not even going to church.

ONE Sunday at going to church and I feel REFRESHED. I needed it. I think that "one thing" that recharges you, that simply is "for you" we tend to put off first. Because it is for "us". We forget to give to ourselves. For me that "one thing" is clearly the hour and a half that I spend at Flatirons Community Church in Lafayette. One hour. One hour. Made me a better me. Made me a better mom. Made me a better wife. Made me take a deep breath. Made me realize I need to let go of my love affair with being in control. Because at the end of the day, you have NO CONTROL. What happens is going to happen. I am tired of stressing. I am tired of getting upset when things don't go my way, or the way I had planned. It is hard to completely give up control and fly by the seat of your pants. I still have to have a schedule. I mean come on, I have six kids LOLOLOLOL. But instead of my schedule, I call it my plan now. I have a plan. I am just trying to remember that my plan is actually Plan B, that is scheduled around Gods plan A. :) Because his plan, determines mine. I LOVE God's plan for me. I just wish I had a compass to follow it. So because I don't, (have that compass) I realized that it is on Sunday's at church that He has been giving out directions. Ok, ok so we all know that you don't have to be "IN" church to "hear" God's plan for us. But clearly I listen better there. :)

So my last few months of struggling with my son's health, my headaches, our finances and my hubby having no work is all looking up. I know where I am going. I was given CLEAR directions. Directions that were given to me in one day in a time frame of an hour and a half. So I know the road I am on is the right one, (because I listened), and I know the end of my map. I know it's an amazing place. Its all that middle stuff. All those lefts, rights and forks in the road that we call "life". It's hard. Trusting Him is hard. But there is HUGE rewards in doing so. So out the window the schedule goes. In my hands is His Plan A. And I feel so at ease with that!

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