Sunday, November 29, 2009

A little down in the dumps...

What makes a good hour? A good day? A good month? A good year? Just curious. What determines it? If your good out weighs the bad? If you can focus ALL DAY LONG on things that are good? We are all blessed. We are all BLESSED. So why are we all so unhappy? Deep down is anyone satisfied? Is there anyone who is not struggling in SOME part of their lives? What happens if and when the bad starts to out weigh the good? That purpose that makes you want to jump up out of bed and start your day is suddenly gone. What is it that makes us overcome hard times and unhappiness? Some will say our families. Some of you may say the small breaks you get to yourselves like a yoga class or massage. Others may say getting closer to your relationship with God. For me it takes all of the above. I am struggling right now. I am watching my computer cursor blink. Never have I had issues or troubles like I am having now. Never have I had court dates for my misbehaving teen. Never have I had issues in my marriage. Never has my husband been out of work for three months. Never have I had to choose between which bill to pay. Never, until now. Please pray for me. Is it selfish to ask others to pray for you? I feel so alone at home. I try to stay upbeat for the kids. I have sadly resorted to not talking to my husband because if we do SOMEHOW it shifts to money and him not working. He is depressed. I am sure it is so hard for a man to be out of work and unable to provide for his family. I have to be brutally honest here. It didn't matter how bad my hour, day, month or year was, I was ok because my marriage was good. I had a husband that made all my problems, issues or whatever just seem small. So when my marriage is on the rocks, all seems crazy. I am sure I am no different than any other person. I'm just a little down in the dumps right now.

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