Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Morgan is still missing.... :,(

My daughter is still missing. Thank you for all of your prayers. I can't tell you how hard it is not to look back a few years ago, (what seems like minutes) and see her little baby face asking for help or telling me that she loved me. Teenagers are tough. Parenting them is tough too, BUT NO ONES TEEN seem to be as "bad" (I hate that word) or as disrespectful as Morgan. I loved her. I hugged her, I played with her, I taught her right from wrong, I WAS CONSISTENT, I followed through, I disciplined her, I rewarded her, I encouraged her, I LISTENED to her, I talked to her, I was involved with her, I knew her friends AND their parents. I did everything I thought I should have done. I can't think of anything I would have changed if I could go back. My divorce from her dad was the only thing that I thought could have (ok did) hurt her. But he went to jail for abuse (on me) and in the ten years we were married had 2 (!!!!) DUI's. I felt I couldn't stay in that marriage or I would have been teaching my son it was ok to treat a woman like that, and I would have been teaching my daughter that it was ok for a man to treat you that way. To this day I feel in my heart divorcing him was the right thing to do (based on OUR situation, I do not agree or encourage divorce) but it was very hard on her and from that point that is where I remember our relationship (Morgan and mine) being a little torn. I felt it never really got better. I feel like my choice to better OUR lives hurt her and I's relationship. BUT she is 15, isn't that old enough NOW to know that people get divorced? She was only 7 or 8 when we got divorced.
More information on her situation is this: (keep in mind that this is my child). I love her with all of my heart. I really am a good mom. I have five other children (some of them teens) and none of them act the way I am about to tell you that Morgan acted. My other kids are respectful, they have good grades, they have manners, they volunteer, they do their chores with out having to be asked, I don't get it. Ok, ok, I will get to it I am just soooo embarrassed. Morgan was caught in a big lie and the school principle told her there would be NO more ditching. That he was going to see to it personally that she succeeded with school so he was going to personally take her to and from class until she could learn to go on her own and he could trust her to do so. This PISSED (excuse the language) her off and she.... PUNCHED HIM and threw water from her water bottle on him and then threw the water bottle at him. She was ticketed for assault on a school official and taken to a juvenile holding facility for her dad and I to pick her up. Her dad said he would go get her and talk to her about her choices. He went to pick her up and was walking her to his car and she took of running. He lost her. He couldn't catch her. And she has been gone since. That was a week ago tonight. She then called Social Services and told them that her dad is abusive, and that I kicked her out and she is having to sleep in a park. NUMBER one, her dad is not abusive to her, he has changed and our marriage was 8 years ago, he has taken classes and come MILES in his behavior, I am saying this being proud of him. AND then me I NEVER kicked her out!!! I would NEVER kick her out!!! I don't know why she said this. I haven't even talked to her since the entire occurrence. I told the social worker that the only thing that came to mind that she could be mad at me about is she asked if this boy she likes could spend the night. I said absolutely NOT!!! No way. No boys. I will not talk about it. I will not discuss this. MY ANSWER is NO!!! That was Monday night and this happened Tuesday (a week ago) at school. I am just hurt because if you want to make bad choices and affect your life and learn from them fine, BUT don't get innocent people sucked in. I mean I run a daycare. I have for eleven years. I am a qualstar provider. I am not bragging but I am darn good at what I do. It does not look good that social services is even at my house when I run a daycare. All because of her lie. I do feel better that she has acted up before and been caught in big lies before that teachers and her doctor and her grandparents wrote letters for me in my defense. I showed the social worker her room and how she has punched holes in the walls and how she wrote "MY MOM IS A BITCH" on her wall. I told the social worker that the colorado law of having decision making at age 14 has ruined our family. I can't MAKE her go to counseling because she is over the age of 14. I can't make her go to Boys and Girls Town because she has to want to be there because she is over the age of 14. A very little part of me is however excited that this most recent ticket will put her on probation. That I am hoping will help. Also I am going to ask the judge if he will court order counseling. I seriously don't know what else to do. Sad, helpless mama here. I love her, I miss her, I am scared for her and I am mad during the day at her choices and I lye awake at night wondering if she is dead or dying in a ditch (how horrible I know). I turned off her cell phone for bad behavior and during the day I am like NO WAY NO PHONE I WILL NOT TURN IT BACK ON!! Then at night I am like, "What if she is hurt? What if she is having an asthma attack? What if I turned on her phone... would she call? Being a mom is sooooo hard sometimes. Keep your prayers going I seriously need them!! Thanks for listening.

4 comments:

  1. My prayers are with you!

    I have a 15 y/o daughter as well. They are difficult creatures to deal with!

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  2. I don't know what to say, I'm praying for you guys. I can't believe that in CO you don't have "control" of your children once they are 14 ~ wow that is just crazy!

    If you turned on her phone, would she use it? You could at least track her on it. My girlfriend has a 16 yr old that sometimes takes off and when the police were involved they suggested that the phone NOT be disconnected for just this purpose. Not sure that I agree with it, but in your case, it might provide some peace of mind.

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  3. I am so sorry for this awful pain you are going through. I hope she returns home soon and realizes how much you love her and want whats best for her.

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  4. I am so sorry... praying for you and your family!

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