Tuesday, May 5, 2009

SAME Stuff different day...

Morgan is still not home. Maddie is still worried about her. We all are! I am still dealing with my anger at Morgan for hurting her family, especially Maddie and Jaidyn. Maddie because she is old enough to worry and old enough to know that bad things can happen to you when you don't come home at night. And Jaidyn because she is only four and misses Morgan. I don't want Jaidyn to think that we just get rid of kids that misbehave. I mean she knows (because I have told her) that Morgan is staying with a friend, and that she did not have mommy's permission to do that so the police officers are helping mommy find out which house Morgan is staying at. Morgan called here last night about eleven. Again the number was blocked. She said she needed some eyeliner (I can't believe the nerve). I told her I would discuss the items she needed just as soon as she came home or told me where she was so that I could go get her. She said, YOUR NOT GOING TO GO GET ME EYELINER IF I COME HOME..... YOU WILL ONLY GROUND ME OR TAKE MY CELL PHONE AWAY, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A BITCH? And then she hung up. Dial tone. The anger and worry begin all over again. Speaking of her cell phone, I told her I wasn't paying the bill any longer. Her phone was shut off today. I am so on the fence with this one. DO NOT GET ME WRONG... in NO way does a child that acts like this, talks like this or does not go to school deserve to have a cell phone. But I can't tell you how it feels at two o'clock in the morning when it is snowing outside, and your child has asthma, to know at least she has a phone. I am tired of crying. I am tired of worrying. I am tired of having no idea what to do. I watch these new moms in their chat groups talking about how hard their two year olds are. I would pay money to go back to that point. I am not making their issues little. Those terrible twos prepare you for the terrible 15's. I will continue to pray. Some more.

On a lighter note... I had lunch with an old girlfriend from high school today. It was fun.

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