Sunday, May 17, 2009
I feel like I am being attacked from all directions.
My half sister
My inability to cope with stress anymore.
My friends hurting.
My ability to act as if none of it is happening and ignoring the fact that it is still there. Denial.
MY determination to change my life right now is big. I don't think honestly it is me... they say if everything in your life is not good, maybe it is you. I think I just have developed a low tolerance for crap, crappy attitudes and crappy things happening in my life. I feel like I have lost ALL control of my own life. I need to go to church. I can tell.
Today was just a really bad day. I want to wake up from this nightmare. I am tired of stressing. I am tired of crying. I am tired of waiting for something to change. The change is going to happen. Even if I die trying.